Happy New Year! (in 2 days and 3 hours)

So.....things with W are progressing. I dont know  if it's good or bad. But it seems good.
I've invited him to our family Xmas tomorrow and barring a snowstorm, he said he'll come. So I am praying for clear weather. I think he'll enjoy himself, I hope so anyways.
He's still thinking about the whole thing. He says he likes being/living alone. I get that, I like it for myself too. I just hope he'll keep himself open to a new relationship(yes, with me) and open to newer deeper feelings. But it's gonna be slow going and thats ok. I think I need to let it be slow too.....fast hasnt always worked for me in the past.
Anyway....good things to come in the New Year, I hope.

Next Week

So, it's a week later and still talking to W. It has been great.
We've been talking at least every other day and even every day. And it's not just a "Hi how are you" kind of thing. Its always at least an hour and a half.
Earlier this week, at the end of the chat, W mentioned he`d like to go  on a little trip and did I want to go with him. I said absolutely. So far no more real mention of it, but I`m hopeful. It all seems so wonderful, and I am terrified I`ll fuck it up.
So I pray and I hope and I pray again and hope I can take whatever does happen between us. LOL I think I may be pmsing right now, so I just gotta focus on the positive .

W hinted he might be in this weekend....I hope so. He really rocks my world.

The Past Comes Back ...in a very good way

So, there's this guy. I knew him about 23-24 years ago. We had a thing...it couldn't go anywhere at the time, we both knew it. We agreed we'd have some fun, enjoy each  other and move on. And thats what happened. Except for one thing...I really really fell for him. But I kept my end of the deal and we never saw each other again. Once, about 2-3 days before I left for the U.S to marry J, he called. I missed the call. So I put it away and moved on with my life. Y'all know the rest, if you've followed previous incarnations of this blog.  I married ,had a good life, got sick, got widowed, and moved back to Canada.
Well, with all that happened, it changed me on certain levels. One of them was re-connecting with some people from my past. This guy was one of them. I'd heard thru the grapevine, that he wasn't married anymore, so I took a chance and called him. The first few times, we didnt connect and then I just kinda chickened out. I wasn't totally sure about his marital status and I sure as hell didn't want to make problems. Anyway, he must have wanted to get hold of me, because about a month or after I had called, I got an email from his son on facebook.So I called him and WOW!!!!!!
Between Saturday when we first talked and Monday, we talked for about 3-4 hours...it was wonderful. And then, he came to see me on Tuesday. We were together for seven hours and never ran out of things to talk about. It was like no time had passed. We even made out for awhile. And his smell, his scent, I've never forgotten and oh god , it was good. He still kisses as good as he ever did. It was a wonderful night.
Now today he called...just to talk. He doesnt know how often he can come to the city...time and money is an issue. And thats ok. We can talk on the phone , I'm good with that.
Now the thing is, W told me that when he phoned me right before I moved, what he also did was come and see me about a week later, but I was gone already.

I am pretty sure I'm in love with W and have always been. I dont know what he feels, but  I have my suspicions. So for now, we just go one day at a time. I don't think we qualify as dating. But its all good. I like/love this guy on a pretty deep level and I am so glad to have him back in my life.